untilyourbreathingst0ps:

pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.

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notpano:

gay boy double douches

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deair:

if you can have a long and meaningful conversation with me even though we haven’t seen or talked to each other in super super long and not make things awkward you are hella special

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potatoandotherwise:

in math today my teacher asked what makes a number perfect and I said its dazzling personality and she almost kicked me out

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notpano:

why is taking a shit literally one of the most relaxing and drawn out moments of my day

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